Cake or Death

Tegin eile oma rabalemiste vahele pausi ja vaatasin üle jupi aja Eddie Izzardi “Dressed to Kill” show-d. Algus oli nagu ikka, veidi veniv, aga kui see mees* end soojaks on lobisenud, siis… :D Ta on ikka täiesti super…
Kui jutt jõudis erinevustelt Briti ja Ameerika filmide vahel lõpuks kosmosereiside, kivide ja kollideni, naersin ma juba nii, et pisarad jooksid. Madis, Maris ja tema sõber, kes samas toas “Futuramat” vaatasid, põrnitsesid mind nagu idiooti (loe: kadedalt), aga mis mul sellest :)
Izzard on tõesti ebasündalt hea… Soovitan absoluutselt kõigile, võtab pinged maha sama hästi kui… noh, see teine asi, mida üldselt väga heaks stressimaandajaks peetakse ;)

* Transust Briti stand-up koomik

Mõni tekstinäide ka, aga mitte kosmosest ja kollidest, sest seda lihtsalt peab ise kuulma :) Ja tegelikult kõlab see kõik hoopis paremini teda laval vaadates, kui kirja pandult.


Anglikaani kirikust:
“Vicar, I have done many bad things." "Well, so have I." "Well, what should I do?" "Well, drink 5 Bloody Mary's... and you won't remember.”

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Anglikaani kiriku loomisest:
And Henry VIII, a big hairy king, went up to the Pope and said, "Mr. Pope! I'm gonna marry my first wife, then I'm gonna divorce her. Now, I know what you're gonna say, but stick with me. My story gets better. Second wife, I'm gonna kill her! Cut her head off. Ah, not expecting that, are we? Third wife gonna shoot her. Fourth wife, put her in a bag. Fifth wife, into outer space. Sixth wife, on a rotissamat. Seventh wife, made out of jam..." and the Pope is saying, "You crazy bugger! You can't do all this, what are you a Mormon? It's illegal. What have you been reading? The gospel according to St. Bastard?"

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Inglastest Ameerika filmides:
We play bad guys in Hollywood movies. Take, for example, "The Empire Strikes Back" from the Star Wars trilogy. The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going, "Oh... I... oh..." "What is it LeftTenant Sebastian?" "It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here." "My God, man! Do they want tea?" "No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag." "Damn, that's dash cunning of them."

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Relvadest Ameerikas:
The National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, uh, people do." But I think, I think the gun helps. You know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.